Thinking vs. Doing

Every time I go through the form, what I do well and what I need to work on changes. There are so many big things to keep track of (for example, keeping my breathing in alignment, my movements slow, and my shoulders relaxed) that the further along we get into the form, the more I tend to confuse or forget the nuances.

I've been doing the transition between Play Lute and Part Wild Horse's Mane all wrong. When you sink down in preparation to Part Wild Horse's Mane, the hand next to your face actually faces out. I had been doing it so that the hand was on the other side of my head, with the palm instead of the back of the hand at my face. I've been doing it this way for months.

Also, I noticed this past Sunday that my hands get confused after Part Wild Horse's Mane. The twist with the hanging elbow block is a very natural transition. But, as my body unwinds, I always want to follow up the back knuckle with a punch even though there's an additional step and "pat forward" before I take another step and the punch comes from the other side of my body.

Transitions between moves are always where I get lost most often. Back in January, we went to Mexico for a few days. We were, at that point, only about a quarter to a third of a way through the form. I took to practicing what I knew of the form on the rooftop deck of the house we rented. I'm sure the change in scenery contributed heavily to my feelings of distractedness, but I was still very disappointed that I could not do the form right two times in a row. I didn't bring the list of steps in front of me and no Sigung to coach me. The fact that I was "looking far" at the ocean instead of at the mirrors and walls in a kung fu studio really took me outside of my own head and it wasn't, as I had hoped, for the better.

I felt really confident about what I was doing within the context of each move, but I couldn't correlate my posture at the end of one move with what to do next. I'd have to say that, in Lee's Modified Yang Style, your hands and feet don't often end up in the same place within a large chunk of steps, so I have no idea how I kept managing to skip steps and not realize it until I ended the set each time thinking it had moved too quickly. Had I jumped from Needle at Sea Bottom right past Snake Creeps Down? Did I only remember to do one Play Lute in the first 15 steps?

I wish I could say that I'd surely remember all the steps if I stood up to do them right now, but I have such a hard time even picturing them as discrete moves that I would probably need someone to coach me with the names of moves as I went along. When I'm trying to fall asleep, I tend to step through the moves. Early on, Sigung said that stepping through the form in your head is at least more beneficial than not thinking about it or not practicing at all. I agree, but I so often hit roadblocks where I am literally paralyzed trying to snatch the next move out of thin air. It's one thing to think about the form, but so different to actually do it. I can't decide which offers more opportunity for making mistakes.

Lee's Modified Yang Style

Because I got this account, I figure I might as well use it. And because I named it after my favorite move thus far in my education in Lee's Modified Yang Style, why not write about t'ai ch'i?

This weekend, I looked at the "cheat sheet" of moves in this "intermediate"-length t'ai ch'i form I've been learning and realized I'm near the end. By the end of class this Sunday, we'll have completed move 53, Punch Under Elbow on the opposite side. Only twenty to go after that! So far, repeating moves on the opposite side has felt very strange, but Small Circle, Single Whip feels especially weird.

Every week, Sigung chooses least one thing I (or the class as a whole) need to work on and spends extra time getting the subtleties right. Recently, we were asked to focus on the hip and shoulder movements that propel Small Circle, Single Whip. It's not so much the hands or arms that move. Rather, it's how your torso moves while your hands more or less stay in one place. Not too unlike all the other t'ai ch'i moves, but still something I had certainly glossed over. It wasn't too hard to learn once Sigung pointed it. And yet, now that I'm trying to apply the same principles of movement to Small Circle, Single Whip on the opposite side, I feel like I must be doing it wrong because it just feels so much more...showy. I'd never thought of it as a showy move until now.

Of all the moves thus far, the Stomp move(s) have been easiest for me to get right off the bat. My body actually feels more centered when I thrust my leg and foot forward with my hands rising behind me. Interestingly, Sigung says she thinks it's the hardest move in the entire form. What about the slow crescent kicks of Separate Arms and Feet? What about Grasp Bird's Tail? It still takes a ton of concerted effort for me not to bob up and down when I'm moving from one Grasp Bird's Tail to the next.

Sometime this week, I'm going to time how long it takes to go through the form up to step 53. Up until recently, we used to spend the last ten minutes or so of class going through every move in the form. I suspect it'll take at least that long if I can manage to do the form without skipping any steps.